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Archive for December, 2011

The Cystal Clear Clarity of Grief. Dec 28

Its two years since my friend passed away.  I never had time to say good bye or even start to tackle the grief.  That nasty old cancer thing took over.

This year I didn't go home for Christmas and with the raw hurt still being felt by Sue and her family the cracks finally opened fully.  I discovered that time doesn't actually heal, it just gives you a buffer of better / good days in between.

I also found that even with time the pain can be so deep and intense that you feel like its penetrating into your bones and will never leave.  Then just when its at its most unbearable a sense of clarity washes over you like the first rays of a summers morning.  The tears clear and its possible to go forward.

Over the last few weeks I've done the full range of emotions.  The one that surprised me the most was anger.  Reasons for that will remain private, but it was useful to get that one out into light and under the microscope.  Its gone now and 2012 is a calling.  2011 was actually a bloody great year, so I'm looking forward to 2012 and moving on.

The humiliation continues. Dec 16

Actually to be very fair to the guys they have never once made us feel silly!  or FAT!!!

On Wednesday I actually ran up all 7 flights of stairs and was so happy with myself.  Friday its feel like i have a flat tyre (not just a spare tire).  Trent did make me feel a smidge better by conceding that this set was hard.  Kettle Swings, into 200metre rowing (hard), times 5.

Got there in the end and kicked that rower down to under 150 in the last set!  Had to proceed to get new set of lungs after as this set no longer processing oxygen.

Another great workout thou!

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Project Whittle Dec 15

My sister in law came up with the name.  Been working on it for two months now, lots of past posts about it, but to ready to release it all yet.  First week of Jan!

Big old week Dec 15

Been a big week!  Did a 13 km walk Saturday, then 8 km Monday and a  few more during the week.    Trent has also been upping the intensity this week as well.  My face  has changed again this week.  Will be interested to see Donna's  comments when I come home!   

The gym is down 7 flights of stairs from road down to the water (so  the view is lovely when you are there).  The boys use those stairs  ruthlessly.  My first week was go up the stairs quickly.  I got to the  top and gasped like a fish it was so upsetting.    Well Wednesday was run up the first fight, walk back down (all the way  down I was told when I only when down one flight! ).  

Then run up two  flights walk back down! Repeat until all 7 flights are done.  Well I  ran up the full seven at the end of it.  Hurt my legs like hell but I  am so damn pleased with myself for doing it.  Made it very clear the  progress so far.    And last joint flare up was first week of October!  That's almost two  and a half months of no arthritis.  Not going to stop the supplements,  but between them and using the body its all working.   

The fun bit will be next weigh in.  Sorta bracing myself it won't be much as there is a lot of transform going on from fat to muscle, cos lets face it there was a lot of fat, and not much muscle.

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The devil is in the grin. Dec 12

I think I might have given Trent ( a few clues on when I have reached my limits. It's fairly simple really and involves a bucket and me throwing up.

He seems to think that if I am struggling to keep the last sip of water down I am about at the right top end of training

The worst bit is he says it all with this big shit eating grin on his face. Correction the worst bit is I am paying him for it.

Apartment, what apartment? Dec 12

The whole apartment thing has turned in a complete farce.  Its now months after the building should have finished and there is no end in sight when it will actually be done.  The vendors lawyer is not giving any details on when it will be finished, other than trying to find ways to screw new buyers down with shorter settlement times.

Adding insult the real estate agent has vanished.  If you ever come across an agent called Bernadette Berlyn from McGrath, run the other way, hang up, or do as I do and start throwing alot of salt around. 

The weather has certainly not helped the whole situation, but good communication would resolve alot of the problems here.  Tell people there are delays, they can look out a window and see the rain, and I'd be fairly certain most of them would actually be very understanding of it.  Not communicating and screwing everyones holidays up, that does create resentment.  Don't think i want to be that lawyer with all that resentment coming my way, bad for the karma, and would certainly scew up your Chi!

Boat Harbour Dec 11

The Bacon and Egg Sandwich Justification. Dec 11

One of the bad habits picked up in the UK is the love of a bacon and egg sandwich.  Apparently its not just me either is Sue is rather fond of one as well.  Doesn't help that there is a shop down by Eloura beach that is open Sunday mornings and does a really decent one, along with good coffee.

We have however made a few adjustments to it, and buy one between us, asking them to cut it in half.  That way you get all the bacon and eggy flavour, but half the calories!  The rest of the walk is then to work of that indulgence!

Walking on thru. Dec 10

Back from a walk down to Boat harbor, this time I remembered to turn on the GPS.  13kms!

Wow that’s like walking from Papa Aroha to Coromandel.  Granted no hills, but was on Sand

Stop, watch and think Dec 07


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