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Archive for March, 2010

Here and There. Mar 03

One of the things I’ve become very much aware of is what have I actually done with my life.  I spent my first 29 years in NZ growing up, being educated and then working. I always thought I wanted to travel but certain debts didn’t really make that possible, but I listed to the stories of friends who had travelled and knew what I wanted to do.  Long story short things worked out and the funds were there for me to go and travel.

Many hardships, bad experiences, amazing times, following by stunning times, followed by some once in a life time experiences I have done what I thought I would do and can probably now swap well good stories with my old friends back in NZ.  My life over the last 11 years has been filled with many wonderful and amazing experiences.  I’ve seen and done things than many would just think way off.

I’ve seen the sunrise on Mount Sinai, trekked with the Thai hill tribes, swam in the dead sea, celebrated the Thai water festival, walked over hot coal barefoot, watched spitfires over leeds castle and seen more of life on the earth than I ever thought possilbe.  I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, and been inspired so many times.  I’m also now a two time cancer survivor and see all that has been and just hope I’ll get to see more.

This round of cancer has also given me even more insight.  I lost a few friends with the last cancer and it seems I’m lost a few more thins time.  But you know what at the end of day , those friends who stick around for it are really the ones I love to bits.


The Waiting Game Mar 03

Well, my last visit to the hospital didn’t go quite as I was expecting.  It was supposed to be a ‘your making great healing and we don’t want to see you for another 2 or 3 months.

That did happen with my plastic surgery team who told me to keep wearing the dressing for the next two months and we will see you next month, but you also need to go back to the dermo team for the full results. We can also tell you that you have Spindle Cell Carcinoma.  Great, I’m out of here!

Not quite.  The dermo team what to run more tests!  As its Spindle Cell Carcinoma which is a tad more aggressive that its main relative squamous carcinoma they want to run another set of tests to make sure it has not spread.  So back for another contract CT scan and another wait until the results come in.  So guess what its the cancer waiting game.  I’m used to it now and spend nearly all of my time doing things that don’t let me think about it to much.  I’ve gotten fairly good at that.

Results should hopefully be all clear and come back in 2 months for a check up.  I’m just a little hesitant as all the way through this I’ve been told it can’t possible be cancer, or its such a small chance it will be cancer, and um it didn’t work out htat way.

I’ll now tell you exactly what did happen as I could say before since it freaked me out to much.  They removed 2cm of my upper lip and then did a load of re constructive surgery to replace the area taken.  I couldn’t look in a mirror to see it as I was so scared it would be bad.  Effectively they cut all the way around my nose and underneath it to move the available tissue into place.  I didn’t even realise myself how much they took until I found all the stiching inside my mouth.  The really did take all of it.  But they have done a truely stunning job of reconstruction and visually its look just like me!  There is still a scar on my upper lip and right now the area is numb as hell, but it looks great!

I was so amazed when I finally looked at it myself a number of day after all the swelling had gone down and now it just a little scar line from my lip to right nostrel,  It almost adds a little mystery to things.  The scar will decrease alot and as for the rest of what they did its all hidden.

So now its just the next step, do I sign off with a stage two cancer or does it upgrade.  As a now two time cancer patient its still all a waiting game.

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