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Archive for April, 2007

The power of tears Apr 24

I had to return to the hospital (yet) again for the results of testing. I’m not sure how doctors do it, but they always make it sound like there is something they are not telling you, like giving you the good news first leading upto the bad news!

 

 

Gimme Gimme Gimme Apr 19

I’ve learnt something really interesting
in the last week or so. Some people really perceive themselves as
being seen by others by what the own. This concept has fascianted
me during this period as I’ve never really come across someone so
totally orientated towards this concept. Thinking back I had friend
and university who thought that way, but back then I never really
processed it properly.

Now looking at the world I guess most of the west is driven by this
having to own more expensive things than the next person. Cars seem
to be the big thing. Interestingly I’m watching a discovery
channel program about car shops that produce cars for people who
what the ‘car’ to be seen in. Its fun watching the program to see
what happens, but the end result leaves me rather dry.

Not that I love a great looking car, and I’vd driven some
wonderful rentals in my time, but they dont’ define me. I don’t
own a car and haven’t for years. The ones I did were second/third
many hands before me.

What expensive toys to I own. Well my Bose headphones and they were
a treat so I could listen to my music and tv programs in hospital
with lovely comfy headphones. (ps they are comfortable and have
great sound).

Next most expensive toys are my computer equipment as I use them/it
all the time for many things, phone, DVD’s radio, and an actual
computer. Then I guess the next thing would be my kitchen ware. odd
huh.

Now ask me what are the most valuable things in my life. Well thats
easy. My photos, and books that I’ve collected from around the
world. My journals of where I have been are ireplaceable. Why
because they define where I’ve been, how what I saw and how I
felt.

I guess at the end of this little revelation I realised I’m not an
asset person, I’m a where/what person. I would rather be defined
by where I been, what I’ve done and how I see the world than any
tangible item that I own. My most precious items are the small
reminders that I have of these things.

If you want to own a Tag Heur watch go for it. I would rather spend
the money and go see Borobudur in Indonesia, it totally timeless so
who really needs a watch.

Gaps Apr 11

I wrote this a few weeks back, but after
another reading it seemed appropriate to post it.

I am sure I mentioned that the transition between treatment of
cancer and then after is something. Welll I had read up on the
‘stage’ and feld that it was not going to affect me.
Well how wrong was I, its just not that you have had cancer and
then come back to the real world. Its more like you have had cancer
and lived in a totally different world then have to switch back to
the world of everyone else who has not been through this. Some are
very understanding, others nice, but none really understand.

I think part of it is that for a period
you are spending so much time and energy in the battle with this
disease that many of the ‘normal’ world concerns pass
you by as you are so wrapped up in what is important,

When it starts to become all over the rest
of society want you to be the same as before, but that’s
really not possible. They have not been through the choices that
must and have to be made, quite simply they really just don’t
understand.

Microsoft Blista Apr 09

Well I’ve spent a good part of the
weekend upgrading my PC from Windows XP to Vista, which I’m now
nick naming blista, cos thats what my mouse finger has. What a pain
in the next upgrade its been. 

Would I recommend going to it. Well only if you have a certain
tendency towards pain. Nothing about this operating system is
designed to make life easy. Quite frankly having played around with
Linux desktop for a while I’m having some serious thoughts of
using that as my permenant workstation. Not that Linux is easy, but
the hoops you have to jump through with Vista are bringing it upto
the same level and at least with Linux you have an established
support base.

The irony is that its supposed to be the best windows ever, well
its certainly not going anywhere near my parents computer. I can
just support them on XP from a few thousand miles. I can barely
support this installation of Vista and I’m sitting right in front
of the screen.

Echoes of a time almost forgotten Apr 02

What a strange weekend its been. Its supposed to be spring now with the Sakura in full blossum and weather sunny. Japanese people are supposed to be sitting under the tree’s drinking Sake, at Haname and probably composing dreadful poetry. Actually I think they have been doing that regardless of weather.

 

 

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