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Reaching for Reality Mar 29

I’m still trying to work through the after effects of the treatment and came across this statement. It sums up alot of what I’m feeling exactly.

"Everything you do is suddenly a decision; there are no automatic routines," , "Whether to go back to work, how to find your way to the hospital—everything you have to do involves choices…. In addition to the emotional arousal, that can make processing information extremely difficult."

Things really are going from bad to worse for me here, I cannot stand work anymore. Walked back into a you are ‘shite’ email that was totally unecessary, didn’t need to be sent and was basically a personnel attack. The tension in this office is so thick that you would need diamond tipped cutting blade to get through it, and then have a few blades reserve. You might say the place has some bad chi, and you would not be wrong. The chi packed up its sorry arse bags and left the building ages ago.

Its so depressing here that we could open up viewing tours for depressesed people, so they could be cured by seeing that there truely are people worse off than themselves. You could say its slit your wrists time, but the blood probably would take one peek outside the vain and scream, ‘no fucking way are we going out there’, then high tail it back in and go sulk around your spleen for a week or so.

The cherry blossum is all out now and about the most excitement I felt for it was that the wind was probably going to blow them all off. Well either that or rain them off with my own private little thunderstorm that I seem to be carrying around.


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