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You know you’ve been in the UK too long when… Aug 27


· You believe that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday during the day is also entirely reasonable.
· You have given up explaining why you are half an hour late to work as no-one notices or cares.
· Coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week.
· You can actually give directions to some of those annoying tourists in Oxford Street!
· You actually step over a drunk in the tube station rather than offering to help them.
· You don’t even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast.
· You have considered wearing a badge that you can pass to people when you first meet them with answers to those all-important questions they all want to know. "No, I am not a Kiwi, I am an Aussie. I have been here for x-number of years. I am here on x visa. We come to the UK because it is the thing to do. No, I do not know how long I will be here for."
· You consider a suit to be normal attire for the pub.
· You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products). And to wear decent clothes. Jeans and a T-shirt are no longer socially acceptable.
· You dissolve in laughter when listening to the funny accent of the NZ international telephone operator (or on TV!).
· You think 40 quid for a haircut is quite reasonable.
· You have stopped calling people ‘a dag’ because you don’t want to have to explain it.
· You can’t remember what ‘customer service’ means.
· After a big night out you find yourself looking for a Curry house, and not a 24 hour McDonalds.
· More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.
· You don’t think twice about tipping your hairdresser
· You finish every sentence with ‘Cheers’ or ‘Yeah’.
· You only just realise you have lost your sunnies, you left them in Greece 2 summers ago.
· You start thinking English cuisine isn’t all that bad after all, I mean, it’s hard to beat a full English breakfast.
· You are on to your 6th umbrella and your second overcoat.
· You buy a disposable baby BBQ from Tesco.
· You realise your sunburn cream is the stuff you originally bought from home with you.
· A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn’t even enter your head.
· You always call soccer football and you have a team and it’s not Manchester United.
· You don’t think twice about buying a packaged sandwich.
· A sunny lunchtime means searching for a patch of grass and stripping off practically down to your underwear
· You start to accept queuing as a way of life.

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